2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
