i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
