i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
