capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
