You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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