woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Boobs are out for the taking
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When are your genitals available?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
