I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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