you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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