whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
