The maid of honor just puked.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
