I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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