Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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