Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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