he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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