This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
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Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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