I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize