I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
