i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
