He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
