Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So here I am, sexting at work.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
