3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
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I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
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Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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