im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
