Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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