i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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