What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
