Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
