I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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