you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just want nice things and good sex
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
