i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
