yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
