I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize