Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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