sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
