She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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