just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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