Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
