Can i not drive my cunt home
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
