He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
