dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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