I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
