But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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