yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
