You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
barbara walters just said penis...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
