Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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