Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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