i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
if only i could text you this smell
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need a hoe opinion
go on
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
