my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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