so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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