Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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