Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
too bad you live with your parents still
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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