She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
why is half of my head shaved?
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