Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
