I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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