I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is her dick bigger than yours?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
