escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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