Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
