you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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