I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Randomize
