i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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