He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
