my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
