Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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