that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
