as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
