Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize