My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
